Off-topic chat. Kick back and relax with a whiskey and a cigar as we chew the fat about anything and everything other than games.
User avatar
User

Angry Jedi

Posts

557

Joined

Fri Jun 27, 2014 3:10 pm

Real Name

Pete Davison

Favorite Genres

JRPGs, visual novels, adventures

Now Playing

Sword Art Online: Re:Hollow Fragment, The Fruit of Grisaia, Hyperdimension Neptunia U, Final Fantasy XIV

Crazy Stories From the Front of the Classroom

by Angry Jedi » Sat Jul 12, 2014 11:18 am

You asked for it, Calin...

I'm pretty sure I've told this story before, but for the benefit of those who haven't heard it, here it is again.

Back in the early days of my career, such as it is, I worked as a teacher in a shitty little school in the middle of nowhere. The town where it was located was in an unfortunate melting pot of clashing cultural influences -- it was a military town that also had a strong traveller presence, and the various social groups this created tended to butt heads rather violently with one another on a regular basis. As you can imagine, a secondary school plonked smack-dab in the middle of this mess was... not a particularly pleasant place to hang my hat, but as a newly qualified teacher, it was the only job I could get at the time.

I was primarily hired as a music teacher, but with the school being the way it was, everyone on staff had to "muck in" with other subjects from time to time. I was tasked with taking on a number of "Key Skills" classes -- classes which, not to put too fine a point on it, involved dealing with some of the absolute worst children in the whole school. Some of them simply struggled academically, and these kids were fine -- they kept their heads down, worked on whatever inane task from the scheme of work (which I didn't write) I'd given them and never caused any trouble. It was the ones who were in there for behavioural issues that tended to cause problems.

One such child was a portly young gentleman named Barry. Barry had a friend named Shane, who habitually wore too much gel in his hair and (fake) Burberry socks. The two of them were a pain in the arse if they were together, so I tried to keep them separated whenever possible. But it wasn't always possible, such as during one incident when we were working in the school library.

The task the kids had been assigned was to research famous people from history and determine who they would like to share a dinner party with. (I told you it was inane.) To their credit, most of the kids in the class got into this, seemingly relishing the opportunity to grab a favourite book and find out more about people they were interested in. Not so with Barry and Shane, who seemingly disappeared partway through the lesson. With the rest of the kids actually knuckling down to some work -- well, reading -- I went to look for them, and it wasn't long before I heard giggling from behind some of the bookshelves.

I rounded the corner, only to find Shane lying on the floor, face down, with Barry sitting on top of him. The next thing that came out of my mouth was probably a mistake.

"What are you doing?!" I asked.

"We're doing a bumsex, sir," said Barry.
User avatar
User

Calin Kim

Posts

137

Joined

Fri Jun 27, 2014 9:44 pm

Favorite Genres

RPG, Weird, Thinky

Now Playing

Dark Souls, Jagged Alliance 2, Uncharted 3

Re: Crazy Stories From the Front of the Classroom

by Calin Kim » Thu Jul 17, 2014 7:21 am

I'm pretty sure that Barry is my new hero. Also the fact that he quantified it with a determiner: "a bumsex." Brilliant.

I don't have any stories that have the humorous weight of Barry and the bumsex, but I do have my fair share of horror stories given that I taught in a city that routinely fights it out with places like South Philly and Detroit for the murder capital of the United States. I'll get some of them together when I have the intestinal fortitude.
Image
User avatar
User

Angry Jedi

Posts

557

Joined

Fri Jun 27, 2014 3:10 pm

Real Name

Pete Davison

Favorite Genres

JRPGs, visual novels, adventures

Now Playing

Sword Art Online: Re:Hollow Fragment, The Fruit of Grisaia, Hyperdimension Neptunia U, Final Fantasy XIV

Re: Crazy Stories From the Front of the Classroom

by Angry Jedi » Thu Jul 17, 2014 10:29 am

It was the "sir" that kind of made it for me. "We're doing a bumsex, sir." Never forget your formalities when addressing your teacher, even if you're attempting to suggest that you are anally violating your best friend.

I'm sure I have some more stories to share. I'll rustle them up.
User avatar
User

Alex Connolly

Posts

477

Joined

Fri Jun 27, 2014 9:40 pm

Location

Kagoshima, JPN

Favorite Genres

Early Access Curios

Now Playing

Helldivers perennially, knicknacks, paddywacks, dog bones.

Re: Crazy Stories From the Front of the Classroom

by Alex Connolly » Thu Jul 17, 2014 11:58 am

My stories tend to be a lot more asinine, and largely innocent, given the age group.

A recent gem was delivered at circle time in the morning, whereby the kindergarten students were talking about things their respective families do on weekends. One young fellow, Harunoshin (aged 5), loudly proclaimed the following.

"My grandpa is camp."

Plus, nothing beats the artwork done by young folk. Here's a classic by Naoto, aged 3. That's a rocket, by the way.

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

Powered by happyfish | phpBB3 Style by Beige
cron